Opening the Portal: Dilation
In labor, dilation is the ripening and the opening of the cervix. For a baby to pass through, the cervix must be fully dilated: 10 centimeters. As anyone with a vagina, this may seem humanly impossible.
But it’s the most natural phenomenon to happen on the planet. Every mammal and every human has come out of this portal, so why does it feel so voodoo? Perhaps when women started handing their power over to the hospital staff, the bright lights and the confinement of the plastic hospital bed. While birthing in the hospital may be the safest and most ideal place to birth for you and your baby, it is not the most ideal place to dilate.
Just like our eyes dilate in the dark, so does our cervix. Imagine needing to use the toilet and a crowd of people are watching you under fluorescent lights? Do you think your bottom will feel relaxed? Probably not, in fact it will probably do the opposite. Something I always suggest to my expecting mamas is to labor at home as long as you can. In the comfort of your own space is where the portal will open with ease.
Opening the portal:
Sit on the toilet! Also known as our “dilation station.” Your body is trained to automatically relax your bottom when you sit on the toilet, so this is actually considered a great tool in labor! Note: in labor it is crucial to pee every hour to keep your bladder empty for baby to move down. If you are having trouble peeing, adding a little peppermint oil in the toilet bowl is known to aid the process as the smell can sometimes help release the bladder.
Relax in bed in a dark room. Candles lit, soft music or water sounds playing on low, and something that makes you feel sensual. Self-massage with your favorite oil is a great practice for early labor. Perhaps you do this in the mirror and show your body gratitude for all the hard work it’s done for you and your baby over the past 9 (maybe plus) months. Rub your belly and enjoy it! You won’t have it for much longer…
Activate that oxytocin: “what got the baby in, gets the baby out.” Oxytocin is a very powerful love hormone which is known to soften and open the cervix. Nipple stimulation and having an orgasm are great ways to activate oxytocin and even labor. Sex is usually very safe all the way up to when labor begins, unless your membranes have already ruptured, which increases the risk of infection. If you’re ready to get things moving, and your partner is a man, ejaculation inside the vagina can be very beneficial as semen contains a high amount of prostaglandin, a hormone-like compound known to ripen the cervix. And no sex does not hurt the baby. No matter how astronomic your man may be, your baby is safe and sound inside your uterus surrounded by amniotic fluid. So jump in bed with your loved one and get smooching!
Visualization. Focusing the mind on guided meditation or visuals in labor can be a powerful tool to open the portal and reduce pain. There are endless guided meditations that can be downloaded and listened to, or this can be a good job for your partner or doula. “My cervix is a lotus flower, blooming and opening.” “My surges are like waves, rolling in and out.” Finding what resonates with you and diving into it can be a gamechanger of reducing that mental stress we are taught to carry throughout the labor experience. Steven King, who is the father of several children born at home, writes on the fear of birth in his novella “The Breathing Method:” “Believe me: if you are told that some experience is going to hurt, it will hurt. Much of pain is in the mind, and when a woman absorbs the idea that the act of giving birth is excruciatingly painful – when she gets this information from her mother, her sisters, her married friends, and her physician – that woman has been mentally prepared to feel great agony.”
A soft jaw = a soft cervix. During contractions (or what I like to call them, surges or rushes) it is easy to want to tense up the face. Think about when you stub your toe and that pain washes over your entire body for a couple moments, our faces are usually very tight and our brows are furrowed. But what if I told you the next time you stub your toe (hopefully never!) you relax your face instead. I’ve tried this myself and although I might let out a curse word, the pain subsides much faster when I relax my face. When you consciously relax, the rest of the body follows that order. You have much more control over your nervous system than you might think. When it comes to birth, the jaw and the pelvis have a profound connection. You can look up pictures of vulvas and vocal chords and see extreme similarities. Not only physically do we see resemblance, but on a physiological level one deeply affects the other. When we relax and soften the jaw, the same relaxation occurs in the muscles of the pelvic floor. A great way to keep those lips loose is to puff air out of your mouth like a horse, keep your exhales longer than your inhales, and use deep, low tones in your voice.
Opening the portal can take time and it is easy to lose sight or feel frustrated. But come back to what you know makes sense for you. Trust that your body ultimately knows what to do and that every birth experience is unique. Your partner and doula are there to remind you of your breath, the softness and surrender you hold within, and the strength you have to birth your baby!
If you have questions or would like to book a free consultation please reach out to me through my website!